19. take the time to notice

If you've ever watched an episode of House Hunters, you know that people are quite particular about their landscaping. Companies spend thousands of dollars to bring in the perfect arrangements, making their land a welcoming place for consumers to spend money. But let me ask you--when was the last time you stopped to actually marvel at the landscaping? Not your typical "Oh lookie, that house has some nice shrubs!" When were you last in AWE of the creation we so demand?

On a retreat to Prince of Peace Abbey in Oceanside, I discovered multiple leaves around the premise. I was so enamored that I started collecting them and storing them in my journal. They were all different. They had different ridges, edges, colors. Some were firm and some flimsy. Some were prickly and some inviting. I stopped to notice nature and couldn't help but wonder about the designer of them all. "Why so many leaves, God?" 

In college, my sweet friend Katie and I used to spend our mornings together observing The Lord. We would wake up early (or snooze 5 times then get up, but who's counting?) and sit in the living room to complete a journal entry, read scripture, or walk through a devotional. One morning we decided to sit outside. We planted ourselves on the patio and gazed at the trees. This sparked a conversation between us about creation and how it screams of a creator. We stopped to notice nature and it was the most effective devotional of all.

Gorgeous Kansas scenery (photo credit to Hayley Keener)

"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and the sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." 
- Romans 1:20 (NLT)

Did you see what Paul did there? He wrote that when we look at nature, our response should be knowing more about God, even knowing God personally. If it isn't our response--we aren't looking at it right.

I would encourage you to take time to observe nature. Don't just look at it, but really think about it. Where did it come from? How long has it been there? Why is it there? What does it say about God? What doesn't it say about God? This world would be an awfully boring place without any trees. Imagine the world without them for a moment... sad, huh?

Take the time to notice, you might just learn something that changes you.

18. He is the source of power.

When I was living in the sorority house, I remember that all of the outlets were upside down. I have no explanation for this phenomenon but I imagine the person who installed them just wanted to play a cruel joke on a lot of women for a very long time. It worked. I still try to plug my blow dryer into outlets upside down. It scarred me for life.

The funny thing is, in addition to the upside down outlets, some of the outlets didn't work. You'd plug them (upside down) into the top outlet, and... nothing. So you'd move it to the outlet beneath it and voilà-- POWER! My hair could be dried after all, thank goodness.

One of the actual dreaded outlets,
photo cred: Claire Boyts.. that
little princess!!

I've been reading a book called, "When people are BIG and God is small" by Ed Welch. In this book, he writes about our disturbing fear of people. I heard an analogy today from a good friend that said, "When you rely too much on people to give you your worth, it's like plugging a cord into the wrong socket and expecting to get power from it." When we plug into people to get our source of power and well-being, it's like plugging in our blow dryers upside down, into the wrong outlet. We get nothing. Our hair.. stays wet. People will let us down because they aren't capable of giving us power. It is a 100% guarantee of failure, we get no return on investment, and the worst thing is, it is idol-worship. No, it's not a precious little thing that we carved out of wood and pray to like the ancestors we judge for doing so in the OT, but rather, making people more important than God. Any THING we see more important than God is an idol.

This isn't a journey of "loving ourselves more," but instead learning to fear God more. How silly of us to spend so much time fearing people, when there is an active, living God out there who could destroy us in a split second? The answer is, stop plugging into people and start plugging into God. People can't give us anything, they are just like us. Welch points out that when we need people, we can't love them. So adding to our frustrations of not being "powered up" by other people, we also fail to love them like we want to.

"Well Emmy, I don't have ways to plug into God, what the heck does that even mean anyways???"

I thought you might ask, so I prepared a list of suggestions for how you can plug into God, and stop plugging into people:

1. Realize that all people are the same: messed up, broken, trying to put on a front to get ahead in life and appear all neat and put together. No person is perfect.
2. Spend time learning about who God is as a warrior (fighting for His people.) I suggest any book of the Old Testament, and a good book for this is "God is a Warrior," by Tremper Longman III.
3. Or just spend time in general learning about the character of God. I recommend "Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Tozer.
4. Go look outside...
5. Read any scripture
6. Keep a journal, look back on it in a year or so and see how many of your prayers were answered by people, and how many were answered by God (it'll look something like this: God, 110. People, 0.)
7. Notice that what promises to give us power by the worlds standards doesn't deliver. 
8. Matthew 6

I hope that you can take these things, and come up with a few of your own and figure out how to stop living this life trying to get your worth from things that cannot deliver. God wants to power us up, to fill us with all good things. We just have to spend time letting him in.

----------------------------------------------------------

This is a blog post about how to find your worth in God, not an extensive description of worth in general or the the current state of our society today concerning the matter of young women and their perceived value. It is merely a beginning.

If you would like to help me with further research so I can expand the subject of helping young women find their worth in general, please take this 30-second survey: 

Click HERE to lend your perspective!

I don't use your info for anything,  it's completely anonymous. I am simply looking for answers that only your unique perspective can help me to find. 

Thanks for your help.

Emmy

17. sometimes, we get a rejection letter.

Recently, I applied to be a Chick-Fil-A Franchise Operator. Not a manager, but a real owner. All they require is a $5,000 investment, surviving about 100 interviews with higher-ups, and then they give you the rest  of the funds to build, own and operate the franchise.

I thought, "This should be easy, I like leading people. How hard can it be to hire a few people, learn some rules and then get a franchise running?" The best part was how confident I was submitting the application. It is a bunch of "fill in your name, address, phone number" kind of stuff, accompanied by a few "yes" or "no" questions. "Have you committed a felony?",  "NO! I am clearly qualified for this," I thought.  There was only one space to brag about yourself on this interview: when they ask you about relevant experience. Now, I had done my research and I knew what they were looking for: entrepreneur, financially responsible, someone who would just own one business at a time, faith, loves people, etcetera. I was GOLDEN, just like those delicious chicken nuggets!

Once I got to the relevant experience question, I had to decide which leadership role to use. Sometimes people aren't very excited about hiring people who have been in sororities, so I didn't include that leadership role. There were other random Kansas State University leadership roles, but even those I didn't want to include. I mentioned them of course, but the one I really focused on was my middle school young ladies "Small Group Director" leadership experience. From many angles it sounds like a small business, so I went with it. I submitted the application and thought, "This is GOOD!" I knew I was going to own a Chick-Fil-A Franchise, simply because how crazy it sounded. I prayed before I sent in the application and off it went into cyber space. 

A few minutes later, I got a call from Atlanta... Chick-Fil-A headquarters. My heart was pounding and I thought, "An interview?? ALREADY? I just submitted my application 17 seconds ago! What am I going to say? I haven't owned a business.. what was I thinking!?!?" Regardless, I picked up the phone. Meredith was on the other line, asking me about my application. Turns out there had been a glitch and it wasn't submitted properly. I had to try again. 

So, I did. And then I waited. No phone call this time. The next day went by, and less than 24 hours later I got an e-mail from Chick-Fil-A. Here it is:

Needless to say, I didn't get the job. The funny thing is: I was convinced that it was mine. Even more so, I was convinced that this was God's plan for me because it played to my strengths and talents, despite how outlandish it sounded. I prayed for direction and I certainly got it. 

This helps me to trust God more. He guides me on the right path, and when I get off track, He sends me a rejection letter. Don't think God isn't looking out for you because your plans aren't working out. Sometimes, that's the greatest sign that He is in fact looking out for you.

16. He meets us in our stillness

So here we are, two months after the last blog post. What happened to me?
I broke my fingers? Not quite.. I, um... got too busy.

I recently learned in one of my classes that the clock was created by Monks to remind them when to pray. Interestingly enough, the clock has done the exact opposite: remind us of our to-do list and how little time we have to complete it. They took time to check in with God and center their minds before moving on to the next thing. We were encouraged to participate in a practice named, statio, which essentially means "the practice of stopping one thing before we move on to another." It's less about "meditation", or "connecting with your inner self, third eye," or whatever they taught my when I was in yoga school. It's about taking time to stop being a busy multi tasker with no time to connect to real life.  This practice includes stilling our minds, which sounded a whole lot like torture to someone who can't stop thinking for half of a second.

My mind doesn't stop running. It's worse than the energizer bunny. My mind would do circles around the energizer bunny then.. get into a philosophical debate with him or something. The thought of "stilling my mind," is foreign to me. I literally had to linger after class to ask the professor to clarify what my mind was supposed to be doing during this time that it wasn't thinking: "Does my mind actually have to be quiet? If I am supposed to think, what am I supposed to think about? How do you still your mind when it works overtime?" SO MANY QUESTIONS! He essentially told me that my mind should be quiet (to practice statio), and if anything came into my mind, I could focus on one specific word (which he said could be "peace," and I thought that was funny since thats my ONE WORD for the year!)

I started right away as I drove home without the radio on. I was going to still my mind: a risky endeavor. I tried really hard to think about "nothing."Once I arrived home, I felt like I had ridden a magical carpet to my doorstep. The time seemed to fade away and I was super focused. I kept taking time to stop between activities, to say goodbye to the old thing and welcome the new. From this silent reflection, I found out three semi-sad things about myself:

1. My mind is never quiet.
2. I try to do too many things at once.
3. (Worst of all) I am too busy.

I am stressed with a million things on my plate and I am not taking any time for the real stuff, the good stuff. I'm busy with what? Organizing? Trying to impress my professors? I don't even know. I do know I haven't been writing my blog. I haven't been journaling. I haven't been investing in people like I want to. I haven't been reading my Bible, but instead reading a few chapters out of every book I own. This past week, I even researched how the USPS Mailing system works just because I wanted to know. If I keep going on like this, I'll have read 1-2 chapters out of hundreds of books and learned almost nothing (turns out you need to read the whole book to get all of the points-- who knew!) I've been busy with stuff that doesn't matter. I'm not talking about getting things done because we have to, or work tasks, those have priority. I'm talking about trading effectiveness for efficiency. 

Now, I've been doing one thing at a time, taking time to clear my mind between each task, remembering God in between. Not only am I consistently more productive, but I am much more focused on The Lord. It's not that I haven't been inspired, or that I haven't wanted to write. I got too busy. Let's try to use our time wisely. Taking a break between each event in our lives gives us a mental priority re-check.

I officially commence my blog writing and will now prepare space for the next thing. Effectiveness!

"Be still and know that I am God. I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world." - Psalm 46:10

15. bigger and better

"Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Saturday, January 25 2013: 
First full (weekend) class at Fuller Theological Seminary.

08:30am

I know no one.

Joining conversations here and there, but nothing meaningful comes out of it.

Time for introductions: Man explains how he works with homeless veterans in his spare time. Woman is writing a book. Professor is reading Aramaic but speaking in English. Translations happening at lightening speed.

Feeling alone.

Thinking about man who ministers to homeless vets.

Must write book soon.

12:00

Lunchtime approaches, my husband is due to arrive any moment to sweep me off my feet.

Lonely feelings will subside after his arrival.

He calls.

He has good reason, but will not meet me for lunch.

12:05

Herds of people practically skipping over to eat lunch together.

Big group that I’m not in.

I’m alone.

Tears.

12:15

Pei-Wei, Dan Dan noodles. YUM.

Feeling better.

So many noodles to keep me company. 

12:20

Prayer: "Jesus, please give me friends. It would be ideal if they would just come to me but if I can talk to them, please just give me the opportunity, I feel so alone."

1:05

Arrive back at class.

Man next to me introduces himself.

He’s a high school teacher.

Wants to be more educated.

2:00

Break time.

Get to know another classmate.

Deacon at church, daughter is 22.

Nice guy.

3:00

Driving home in gratitude because God answered my prayer, and quickly.

I gleaned so much wisdom from this day in class but here's just a little snippet:

First, we can be a little exclusive. I notice that about myself. I'll be in a big group, where I feel like I know a lot of people and even though I might notice a new person, I'm not exactly rushing over to make them feel comfortable. I am grateful that this happened to me and I got to experience that feeling of being totally alone. I don't think my classmates were trying to be exclusive, they were just comfortable. Of course new people are responsible for reaching out on their own, but you have an opportunity to make a difference. This isn't about responsibility, it's about opportunity. 

Secondly, Jesus is so good to me. Did you read my prayer?? He gave me what I thought was "ideal." Like Bob Goff says, with Jesus it's always a game of "bigger and better." As in, I give Him my little piece of trust and He gave me friends, a bigger and better sense of belonging.  

Be approachable, and trust God. Let Him be sweet to you, and you be sweet to others. 

Exclusivity is so out. 

14. He gives great character

Character: the mental and moral qualities of an individual. 

The following is a compilation of excerpts from an article written on sportsillustrated.cnn.com. Sheer inspiration. Enjoy.

"Let the party begin in Raleigh," ESPN's Dan Shulman said. The final score flashed on the screen: N.C. State 84, Duke 76. Fans streamed toward midcourt, led by Andy and Will. Then came the unmistakable voice of commentator Dick Vitale.

"It has begu -- oh, watch the young guy with the wheelchair. Oh, they got a wheelchair out there."

The red wave had reached midcourt, engulfing Andy and Will.

"Unbelievable," Vitale said. "Did you see that? Oh, my heart goes out."

Will's mother, Debbie, stood up.

Oh my goodness, she said. That's Will.

Will, youngest of their four children, born without a pulmonary valve or a right tibia.

As the crowd pressed in around the players and the fans, Rodney Purvis, a freshman guard for the Wolfpack, was knocked against Will's wheelchair. The wheelchair tipped over. Will's phone fell from his hand and his glasses fell off his face and his wallet fell out of his pocket. Andy fell over too. He reached for Rodney with one hand and Will for the other. People surged around and above them. They were trapped on the floor. 

With them in the mass of bodies was C.J. Leslie, a 6-foot-9, 200-pound junior, the second-tallest player on the team. He had played all but two minutes of the game and scored a game-high 25 points. At some point he looked down and noticed Will on the floor. He called to the other students, telling them to get back, get back, and then he reached down and picked up Will Privette, 110 pounds, and held him in his arms.

Later, on the Today show, C.J. said he intended to pick up Will and put him right down in his chair. But something changed his mind. Will made the Wolf Hands. The party would go on. And C.J. just held him there, way up high above the crowd, in the center of the raging Wolfpack, for what seemed like a very long time.

Character. 

Read More: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/college-basketball/news/20130124/n-c-state-will-privette/#ixzz2JWjGh4FF

photo credits: www.freep.com, www.sportsillustraed.com (Zumapress.com)

13. He gives us rest, and i'm feeling pretty tired.

Have you ever worked to the point of exhaustion to figure out a crossword puzzle? There is always at least one unknown answer that is preventing you from filling in all the rest. In fact, it can get so bad that you're sweating profusely, exasperated, and preventing anyone from speaking to you until the puzzle is complete (I've never done this, of course). So, out of desperation and the need to revive communication with people around you, you take a little peek at the key just to get that "one" word filled in and continue on without the frustration of failed attempts (and failed relationships). 

I feel this way in life when struggle or chaos shows up, "If only I could have that one little hint of how to get on with it and save myself the frustration, my life would be so much better." Well, I can hold my sweat and exasperation because as I was in prayer this morning, this verse popped into my head; it was spoken by Jesus:

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

The reference notes in my Bible teach that a yoke is a "heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox or oxen. It is attached to a piece of equipment that the oxen are to pull."

Oxen & yoke. Isn't it interesting that Jesus gave THIS analogy?
The yoke sits right on their shoulders.. interesting. 

Do you see what Jesus is offering us? He is offering to take all of our problems and troubles upon Himself. And not only does He want to take them, but He says He will give us REST. I love rest!!

You don't have to panic as if your life depended on peeking at the answer key. He already has given us the key in the verse: Go to Him. Go to Him in prayer, curl up in His lap and tell Him about your burdens. Release them to His control. If He guarantees our rest, why do we cling to our problems and try to fix them ourselves? Why do we wriggle and fester in despair when there is an easier way out and a guarantee for rest? 

The one word that is preventing you from finishing your crossword puzzle: surrender

Thank you Jesus for offering us rest for our souls. I am sad that we don't take you up on it more often. You are waiting, arms open, for us to send our struggles your way; yet we resist. Please help us to overcome ourselves to we can find rest for our souls. Please help us to be people who honor You. 

In Your saving name we pray, Amen. 

12. one word

I started attending Port City Community Church in 2007. Mike Ashcraft is the Pastor and he is awesome. Seriously, awesome. He's the kind of preacher that messes up sentences on stage, laughs at himself, wears a flannel and talks about surfing. I like those kind of pastors. I like them because I don't feel like the have the "I'm perfect" complex. I like the "Yup, I'm messed up and I know it" attitude. Don't you?

Anyways, Mike preaches about a concept named "My One Word." Here's how I understand it: instead of a new years resolution, you pick one work that describes a quality you would like to see improve in your own life. You commit it to God, research a verse that you'll memorize or think about often pertaining to your word. By the end of the year, you'll look back and be able to see how God used that word in your life. The goal is to not have a "resolution" but something you can commit to God and watch Him work. Mike wrote an awesome book on the topic, but if you don't have time to read it, here's a super short video with Mike explaining the concept in more detail or you can visit www.myoneword.org:

This intrigued me even before I committed my life to Christ. My first word: Motivation. This was in 2008. I wasn't doing that great in school, wasn't exercising Princess Madison as much as I wanted, didn't have the friends I wanted; I lacked motivation. Just that year, I was motivated to move out of the state I was in to get away from all I knew there and try something new. He used that year to make all the changes I needed to make before I could be motivated, and then He motivated me.

Words since then:
2009: Faithful
2010: Discipline
2011: Diligence
2012: Secure
Word for 2013: Peace. 

God made it incredibly clear to me what my word should be each year through friends, devotionals, songs, you name it. Your word can be whatever you want it to be. When people ask me what my resolution is, not only do I get to share a new perspective, but I am constantly reminded of God's faithfulness. I could write a book on each word and how much it has impacted me.

I would encourage you to prayerfully choose your word. It's not something you can fail at, because you commit it to God and He doesn't fail. I encourage you to take the step of faith and let God prove his faithfulness in your own life. 

If you want more information on how to get started, visit that website above, comment on this page, or e-mail me directly-- I'd love to share more and come along side of you in this journey.

Happy word hunting!

11. we can choose courage

I have baked the same gluten free cake recipe twice now. Both times turned out to be a disastrous occasion. The same process has happened with all gluten free baked goods I have tried. It goes a little something like this:

1. Either buy boxed mix or try new recipe

2. Look at baked good when timer goes off

3. Baked good is done, but tastes/looks DISGUSTING.

  4. Get discouraged, determine I'm the worst baker in history of baking.

I will refer to this process as the "g-free baking plague," or just "the plague" for short. It might not be the worst plague in history, but you'll know what I mean when I use the term. Thanks for understanding. This has literally brought me to tears on more than one occasion, because I allowed the dismay overcome my hope. The plague is really just one of discouragement. 

The real problem here is that it took me most of my life to realize the effect discouragement has on me. Baking was the straw that broke the camels back, but God was kind to me a few weeks back to zoom out of my own life perspective and show me exactly what this discouragement looks like in someone else:

I was in a ski class for beginners. There were four of us in a group, Alex from Russia, Frank who knew how to ski but was self proclaimed "rusty," Julian, the self-defeater and myself. I had very low expectations for the day. I am a bit of a perfectionist (understatement of the year) and think that I have to be gold medal ready on day one. However, I decided victoriously, "TODAY WILL BE DIFFERENT!" If I fell 100 times, whatever. If I didn't even learn to put my feet in the skis, OH WELL! I just wanted to get out there and not try to be perfect. But what ended up happening is that I did pretty well, and so did everyone else in the class. Except Julian. Julian was somewhere between 30-40 years old, soft spoken, didn't look you in the eye and just wasn't getting how to ski. All three of us were getting it so the instructor told us to make "follow the leader" patterns while he got Julian caught up. After a few of these patterns, and seeing Julian fall almost every time he tried to move forward, we saw him taking off his skis and walking down the hill towards the rental lodge. I asked Frank, a friend of Julian what was up. He replied, "Poor Julian, he doesn't have great self esteem. I told him that anyone could learn how to ski. I guess he just got discouraged, but I'll talk him into coming again." Poor Julian.

I wanted to run after Julian and tell him to be brave, don't be afraid to fall, you can do it! Before I knew it, he was back at the lodge and did not return to the lesson. I was genuinely saddened for Julian. And then I realized..

When I get attached to expectations that I cannot meet, and fail... I am just like Julian. I wanted to quit baking forever, because I couldn't escape the plague of discouragement. But after seeing what happened with Julian, I knew I can choose differently. I chose to sign up for a gluten free baking class and give it another try. I don't have to be a professional baker. Or skiier. Or swimmer, or any of the things I push myself to be. Nobody has set those expectations for my life except me and the trouble is when we lose our courage. 

For it was Jobs friend Eliphaz who said, "But now trouble comes to you, and you are discouraged; it strikes you, and you are dismayed." (Job 4:5)

Discouragement is like a disease. It spreads and cripples. It disables us from picking up our skis and trying again. I fell twice on that snow, and they weren't exactly what you'd call "graceful falls." But I got up and tried again, and again, and again. And by the end of the day, I was skiing down the slopes (bunny slopes that is).  

Courage: the ability to do something that frightens one. 

Evidence! 

At any given moment, you can choose to be defeated and discouraged or empowered and courageous. But know that it is a choice. Don't even try to say, "Well courage just isn't one of my gifts." It is a commandment and you can choose it:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Choose well. 

Emmy.